He sighed, ruffling his hand through his hair. "There really was this dumb blonde in my life for a short while. Just one evening in fact. We went out for a drink, nothing more. We go in my car, so I pick her up from her place. I play the gentleman, like you do and so I rush out in front of her to open the car door; the passenger side naturally only to look up and find her standing on the other side of the car by the driver's door. I look over the top of the car, and say, "Do you have the keys?" She stares at me, and Harry's voice raised an octave, as he mimicked, "No, this is your car." So, I say, "I thought you were about to drive." She looks perplexed, "No, I can't drive." He raises up to a high falsetto again, "Shall I come round that side then?"

Oh God, he told himself, just shut up

"Calm down, I just want to know why I was stood up." Louise remained in control, quiet but firm.

"I told you. I saw Tanya outside the supermarket. I discovered she was going to Gerry and Sally's party as well and I couldn't face it." He sounded tired, defeated.

"That's it?"

"I just panicked I suppose." This woman is feisty and I do like her tits.

"I suppose that will have to do."

Hey, this is cool, he thought, this woman's up for it.

"What shall we say came up?" he smiled into her eyes.

"Hold on a moment. I'm here to moan at you, not to make another date. You invite me to a party then crash me out. Now you tell me some cock and bull story about an ex-wife having screwed around with an ex-girlfriend of yours who is about to move in with your best mate. What's going on here? Is this a real cruise or just an ordinary swap shop?"

She reached for her coffee.

"That sounds like a great idea. One enormous gang-bang. I'd be up for that. How about you?" He laughed.

"Come on, get real. Are you seriously suggesting that I should get involved in an orgy with a man I have only just met and a bunch of weirdo's I have never seen?"

"Well, put like that you may have a point, the weirdo's I mean. They are all a bit strange. Perhaps we should wait for a while, they may improve." They both fell back in their sofas smiling at each other.

"Answer the question. How do you know my address?" he asked again.

"It's not important. I'm here now," she said. "Wanting to know why I was stood up by a jerk like you. I demand an answer from you - jerk!"

He sat back, saying nothing.

"Come on. I deserve a proper answer." Her voice was insistent.

"I told you the truth. I saw Tanya outside the supermarket. I discovered she was going to Gerry and Sally's party as well and I couldn't face it." He sounded tired, defeated.

"That's it? That's all I get for a 'push off' email that leaves me feeling like a fool?"

Her tone had changed, the quiet smooth voice coming with a cutting rasp. "Doesn't sound like much of a deal to me. Just because you can't handle it I get the brush-off. Without even a second's consideration. How does that make me feel? So, your wife is important to you. Is that it? Perhaps you thought you'd go to the party by yourself, try to woo her over, is that it?" She was bolt-upright hands now, firmly holding on to the coffee cup as she warmed to her rebuke.

"Whoa. Can we stop all this? That's not the way it was. You're right. I apologise. I got it wrong. I should have thought about it, about you. But I didn't stop to think. I just panicked I suppose."

"I suppose that will have to do. Fat chance that I have of getting anything more." She stood up and moved across the small room to stand in front of the Marilyn Monroe painting.

"Is this the way you like your women? Dumb and blonde? You seem to have a penchant for blondes." she asked.

"Yes. No. Now hold on a moment. Marilyn was not dumb. She was seriously misused. Her story is one of the great tragedies of this century and," he added, "she was real crumpet."

"So you tell me. And I probably will agree." She turned her back to him, standing face the painting, legs slightly apart, the muscles in her legs tensed, as she thrust her hands down into the pockets of her jeans. He imagined taking her right now from behind .

She spun round quickly to face him. She turned slowly to look at him.

"What are you going to do to make it all up to me?" she said.