And that’s what networking is all about, building the confidence to allow you to talk to someone else, and to gain from the experience. Networking has come to have a specific meaning, often used by sales staff seeking out customers, but we all need to use these principles if we are to succeed. Choosing a lover, researching information for a book, and selling yourself or your company all rely upon the skills of networking.

It’s important to choose the right target. Go for the blonde surrounded by many admirers or the quiet mouse in the corner, the choice is important, and will depend upon your desired outcome. Think about why you need to talk to anyone, and then choose what sort of person may produce results.

People meet in many different ways, a Chamber of Commerce will attract local business, and a singles club has a different clientele. Trying to sell your company’s new steamroller to the latter group will not be very productive, unless you are very lucky. Soft groups will allow a hard sell, it will be expected, whilst at other, more social, meetings a subtle approach will be more suitable. A business card, by whatever name, is an essential accessory, wherever you may be.

It can often help if you prepare before setting out for a meeting. Invitations usually contain some inkling of what to expect. ‘Come round for dinner, Trevor and Eileen will be there, she's a designer, and I think he writes.’ That should see you finding out who these people are, and whether they can help you. If nothing else it can assist the conversation flow, and can help break the ice. A basic fact of life is that people invariably like to talk about themselves, so encourage them by feeding an appropriate question.

Try to set yourself targets, to sort out in your own mind just what you want from any contact. Get some focus into all your conversations, and you may find yourself playing games, feeding questions to get the new contact talking, and then slowly talking about yourself, making sure they know your name, and what you do. At some point give them a card, or at least a point of contact, ‘Ah yes, Colin, your cousin/accountant/neighbour always know where to find me.’

And smile. Life is meant to be fun. Lose your fear of meeting new people. It can help to imagine them naked, look through their clothing, ignore the jewels, perfume, and hand-made suit and know that they went through the same ablutions as you that morning. They are just people, and most are too polite to tell you to go away. Smile, don’t impose too much, ask an open question, one that cannot be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and listen to the reply. Take it from there, keep a note of all these new contacts, and remember that we all have a network of useful contacts. Regard everyone as a potential friend, all as possible sales representative for you and your aspirations.